The Official Lore Bible · First Edition
The Church of
Kenny Omega is the God of Pro Wrestling. This is not up for discussion. There will be no questions at this time.
The Official Greeting
The Church, in Brief
At a glance
- Official name
- The Church of Kenny Omega
- Followers
- Sloptarts
- Current mourning designation
- Bastard Sloptarts
- Deity
- Kenny Omega
- Holy day
- Wednesday
- Sacred text
- The Book of Bucks
- Official relic
- Unnecessarily expensive sneakers
- Official weaponry
- Thumbtacks, explosives, gummy bears
- Official greeting
- “The V-Trigger be with you.”
- Sacred response
- “HOW YOU KNOW?!”
Kenny Omega does not know the Church exists. This is sacred doctrine. Should he ever find out, Kendra will perish from embarrassment and Terra will assume administrative control.
Where to Begin
Six doors into the Church
When wrestling feels heavy, no Sloptart carries that weight alone.
The Lore
In the beginning
In the beginning, there was nothing.
Then came Kenny Omega.
And Kenny looked upon the empty wrestling landscape and decreed that there would be violence. And there was violence.
But Kenny knew he could not build the Kingdom alone. So from the sacred lands of tag team wrestling came Matthew and Nicholas Jackson, the Twin Prophets, and Kenny named them his brothers.
And the heavens shook. Mostly because someone had just been superkicked.
Thus began The Elite. And from The Elite came The Church.
Kenny remains completely unaware that the second part happened.
The Divine Hierarchy
Above all, one
Kenny sits above all Church hierarchy. No wrestler surpasses God. This will become important later.
The Sacred Trinity
Four people. One Trinity.
Kenny Omega, Matthew Jackson, Nicholas Jackson, and William Ospreay. Yes. That is four people. It is still a Trinity.
The Mortal Administration
The reluctantly responsible
The living, the loud, and the people holding it together.
The Pantheon
Figures of importance
Idols, allies, companions, and one man to blame for everything.
A Tiny Bit of Theology
The Tribunal
Something went wrong. The Church will find out who is responsible. Theologically sound evidence is unnecessary.
- Charge
- Evidence
- None (unnecessary)
- Certainty
- 100%
- Sentence
The Docket
Standing rulings
Every case this session is added below. The record is perfect.
- Stubbed toeGuilty: Don Callis
- Bad weatherGuilty: Don Callis
- A show that ran longGuilty: Don Callis
The Saints
The ones we remember
Some canon is ridiculous. Their remembrance is not.
When the Church Is Quiet
The Church exists because wrestling brings us joy. Sometimes wrestling also breaks our hearts.
When that happens, there is no requirement that Kendra make people laugh. There are no mandatory jokes. There are no heretics to V-Trigger.
Sometimes the congregation simply sits together. We remember the people who gave us something to cheer for. We grieve. We take care of one another.
And when wrestling feels heavy, no Sloptart carries that weight alone.
Right now, we are Bastard Sloptarts. Because he was our Bastard. And we are all in this together.
The Doctrine
What the faithful keep
The Sacred Commandments
Ten, and not one more
The Church previously prohibited the phrase “Fuck The Young Bucks.” This remains obvious enough that we should not need a commandment.
The Heretics
Four dangerous factions
Open a file.
Sacred Continuity Rules
So the canon holds
For future theological consistency.
The Rites
How we worship
Every Wednesday, Sloptarts gather to watch AEW and await the sacred proclamation.
Sacred Rituals
Four rites
Sacred Objects & Weaponry
The holy artifacts
Subsidiary Cults
Apply for approval
All cults, sects, Bruverhoods, prayer circles, gaming guilds, and suspicious gatherings require Kendra’s approval. Approval is entirely arbitrary. Bribes may be considered. Kendra denies that this is corruption. Terra disagrees.
The Closing Blessing
May the V-Triggers guide your path.
May the Superkicks protect you.
May the One-Winged Angel remind you that sometimes you have to fight like hell.
May the wrestlers we have loved and lost never be forgotten.
And above all: the V-Trigger be with you.
Congregation
Go forth, Sloptarts. Respect the wrestlers. Respect each other. Disrespect Don Callis.
Amen.